First & Second Day

Wow. I really don't even know where to begin. -- This blog is going to tell all about my struggles, victories, and outcomes in my weight loss. I'm going to be brutally honest, and reach an emotional level probably in every message. But, I want to be able to look back on this and see how much my weight has hurt me, and then I'll know that I never want to be at that point again.

I've never in my life been small, or even somewhat small. I've always been overweight, and now obese. Maybe even morbidly obese. I try to avoid looking in the mirror for more than just 2 seconds, because if I start actually looking at myself and my body it makes me sick and very disappointed.

For years, I've tried to avoid going to the doctor as much I possibly could, because I knew they were going to weigh me. I rather pay more money to go to the clinic that doesn't weigh, because I just don't want to get on the scale. My anxiety about being weighed is unreal. It's especially gotten worse over the past 3 or 4 years. I know I've gained about 80 pounds since 2008. I'm miserable. My stomach feels so bloated all of the time. My amount of energy is basically nothing. I have aches and pains that young people my age shouldn't be having.

I feel that my problem is that I overeat at meals. I don't usually snack, so portion control at meals is my number 1 problem. I eat junk food (chili dogs, burgers, fried chicken, etc) a lot. And of course, with those kinds of meals, I would drink a large soda. Dr. Pepper and sweet tea are my go to drinks. I would try to drink 1-2 bottles of water a day, but even then, sometimes that didn't happen.

About a week ago, my mom and I were talking and I mentioned to her that I wanted to transform my life. I am going to be turning 25 on September 12th, and I want my 25th year to be my transformation year. I want to lose at least half of my body weight in a year. I don't know if I can reach that, but you have to have goals. Then, just a few days ago I received a message from my good friends, the Rice's, Tim and Haleigh Rice. I grew up in church with Tim and I met Haleigh in high school. They were both a year ahead of me in school. I remember being able to talk to both of them, truthfully and honestly. And that still remains the same today, years later. They both genuinely care about me and my health. Haleigh had started as a distributor for Herbalife. -I had heard about Herbalife before, but based on my other experiences with meal replacement drinks, I was pretty skeptical.- But, after talking to her and Tim about the company and trying a couple of the products, I definitely felt like it was a good route for me to take in my weight loss challenge.

I'm glad to have the option of the meal replacement shakes, because as of right now, I'm having trouble deciding what I'm going to eat, and what the nutritional value is. I'm excited to get my products in.

Over the past 2 days I've eaten very well, and done a small amount of exercise. I feel a little sore from the exercise, because my body isn't used to it.

This next week is going to be a great week, and a very interesting one. I'm going to have my new products come in, and I plan on doing a shake for breakfast and supper. My lunch is either going to be a salad with low fat or fat free dressing, and water. Or, a sandwich from Subway... because I LOVE all the veggies on there. - I am currently unemployed, but am fortunately on a 2 week temp job, so my lunch away from home is going to be a nice treat for me. -- We're also going to be getting in a scale this week for us to have here at home. I really don't know what I weigh right now, but I do have an idea of about how much. The last time I was weighed was about 3 months ago or so when I went to the doctor last. - I don't feel comfortable sharing that number right now, because it is such a embarrassing thing for me. Once I've lost some, I'll be able to share the number with you. But, for right now I will keep up with my current weight and amount of pounds lost each week. We have a scale at home right now, but it doesn't go past 300. The new scale we are getting in will go up to 550 lbs., but I'm definitely not going to need it all that much.

Right now I'm going strong and feeling great. Yesterday and today have been awesome, and I am so thankful to have the support from the Rice's and my family. I couldn't do this without them. I can't wait to be at my goal! I hope someday (sooner rather than later) that I'll be about 130-140 pounds, but my realistic goal for now is 200. Then I'll work on the 2nd goal to get down to about 135.

So, be on the lookout for more blogs. You'll be hearing from me a lot. :)